I just want to write a public letter to my boy, Buck.

Thank you my dear old friend, for the love you gave me. Many times, when I was down, it was you who made things bearable. I’ll never forget how you used to come over, and put your head on my lap, and look at me with those big brown eyes. When I’d look down, your tail would start wagging, and life just didn’t seem so bleak. What a gift you were!

Thank you Buck, for the exercise you gave me. When i graduated from university i was a fat bastard, pushing 280 pounds. But your need for exercise helped me slim down. We ran miles together you and I, and I could never ask for a better running mate. You were fast, and exciting and playful!

I’ll never forget how you used to get all annoyed when I would pass you! How you’d fly down the street, trying to knock me over, trip me up, and deflect me from the lead! haha you were something! Always smiling and grinning.

You never needed to be on a leash. You were so well behaved and obeyed my commands. Yet, you loved to have the lead in your mouth! What a goofy guy you were pulling that lead around in your mouth. When we ran or walked down a street, I could see the smiles from all the people approaching us. You just had a way to make people smile. You were beautiful, inside and out.

Thank you my dear friend for all you taught me.  I thought I knew about life, but you taught me how to smile at things I’d forgotten were important. As you showed me, nothing is more important in life than being with someone you love. And being with you was simply the best. Thank you Buck. Thank you. From the bottom of my breaking heart, I thank you.

He was a special soul. Everyone who met him was enchanted. Heck, people who hated dogs were swayed by this guy. Famous “cat people” were turned into dog lovers. He even made cats like him! haha

He had a grand life. We took him everywhere – the ocean, the mountains, the lakes, rivers, parks – everywhere. He was great in the car. Loved to travel. He was always eager to go, eager to get there, and eager to have his head out the window, savouring the wind.

He had a pretty good retirement, laying on big soft beds, with the sun warming his old bones. We gave him massages to keep his tired muscles limber. In his last weeks, trying to come up to bed with us, he stumbled and fell down the stairs, and we knew it was time to help our old friend one last time. He had a big cancer over his heart, and his breathing had become labored.

Those last few days were so painful. When I would come downstairs in the morning, I prayed that god had come and taken him, so I would not have to make that last decision for him, but god chose to ignore me. But I could not ignore my little friend’s pain. He had lost a lot of weight, and it was clear he was suffering now. I made the decision, Pam agreed and our vet thought it was time too.

I must say, that I was amazed at how peacefully he went. Pam held his head in her hands, and I hugged his frail old body to me. He never whimpered, never suffered. In just a few seconds, he quietly slipped away.

Thank you old friend for all you gave me. All the memories, all the love, all the beauty. I will never forget your crazy goofy smile, the way you proudly pranced around, the way you carried that lead, the way you loved us… I tried to live up to your standards. I didn’t make it all the time, but I tried.

You were the best friend a man could ever want. I will miss you. I do hope there is an afterlife, because you deserve it big boy. You deserve it.

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