Next Dr appt – Dec 30th

December 28, 2010 Pam 5 Comments

I called the surgeon’s office, to see if they had a date set yet for my surgery, and Linda said no, that the Dr had to book it. So it’s more waiting. She said they don’t do a lot during the Christmas holidays so I’m thinking it will be Jan 4th or 11th, at least I hope it’s that quick. I don’t like the idea of this thing being in me longer than it has to be, and I want it out.

I dropped off the pre op sheet to my family Dr’s and was told I need her to do an assessment on me and send that to the hospital, so I am going to see Family Dr on Thursday Dec 30th (in 2 days) and get that done. So things are progressing, just not as fast as I would like.

A natural tendency is to wonder if the thing is growing and invading the lymph nodes while I wait for surgery. I’m really working hard to curb my thoughts from going down that road, and instead I am trying to focus on staying calm, relaxed and am sending healing thoughts to the area, telling my body to wall it in and not let is spread further! Who knows if imaging like that works, I believe it does, and so will continue to try it.

I’ll post more when I know more.

…Pam…

Health Issues

Breast Cancer diagnosis

December 26, 2010 Pam 6 Comments

Well, I was handed an early lump of coal this year, in the form of a breast cancer diagnosis (right breast) . I am going to put in some posts as things/treatment progress, in hopes that if someone else is out there, feeling alone, feeling overwhelmed.. that you know you are not alone. Yes, this is a road we have to walk alone, but we can walk with company, in the forms of friends and family, your health care team, and internet friends, support groups. My husband Maurice has been super, he’s driven me to every scan, xray, mammogram, Dr’s visit. He’s been my rock, and I hope that everyone going through this has someone like him, that they can lean on. He gives me strength. My friend Maggie came with me for a gyne surgery I had to have, and has also been there. Other friends have reached out to me now that I’ve gotten this diagnosis and it really warms my heart. 🙂

Well this has all happened quickly. I went for my yearly mammogram, and I’d put it off for a few months, getting my reminder letters in the mail. I’ve had other issues I’ve been dealing with lately and thought, what the heck, may as well get this done as I’ve been going to ultrasounds, Drs etc.. so booked my mammogram, which I had mid December 2010

About me: 53, female, never had kids, early menarche (10yrs old) , never breastfed, obesity, post menopausal – those are the things that have put me higher risk for the breast cancer..

I got a call from Surrey Memorial Hospital Radiology department, letting me know I had been booked for a more focused mammogram, with an Ultrasound (and I figured maybe a biopsy) Dec 15th. So, on the 15th, I took some pain meds in case they did do the biopsy. They did the mammo, and the tech said they always wanted to do an Ultrasound. I could see the “highly suspicious mass” in question on the ultrasound screen and it looked and felt ‘wrong”… like it did not belong, and wasn’t healthy looking. It was not big — only 8x7x6 mm and it had some spiky (spiculated) edges so looked like a little minesweeper, like in the game. It looked black and dense. It was a bomb alright. It is 8 cm from nipple in right upper outer quadrant (the most common spot for breast cancer) at about the 10 o’clock position.

The tech went and spoke to the Radiologist, who advised her that he wanted to biopsy it, based on what was seen on the mammogram/Ultrasound. He came in and we talked. I asked him What were the risks of malignant seeding by doing the biopsy? What I wondered was, in plain English, would the act of doing the biopsy, of sticking a needle in the mass and then pulling it out through healthy tissue, cause cells to be deposited along the tract thereby spreading it? He said that in some cancers, it has found to be the case, but not with breast cancers. My surgeon told me the same thing when I saw her.

So the breast biopsy was no big deal. He told me that he was going to put a nick in the side of my breast, and use that area to insert the needle and use the ultrasound to guide the needle to the mass. I did not feel the needle even go in, and it did not hurt at all. I know others have found it uncomfortable, but I can’t say that I did at all. He showed me the “gun” they use to probe the mass and collect a sample… it’s like a smaller needle that shoots out from the main needle, grabs the biopsy sample and then pulls it back into the needle. It was cool to watch. The radiologist showed me the “gun” they use and warned that when he pulls it, people tend to flinch, mostly because fo the noise it makes. I told him that I would not, that I was relaxed and that that I wouldn’t move. And I didn’t. He told me that he has never seen anyone sail through it, that most people just can sit for 1-2 samples… and often it’s not enough of a sample, so they end up having to come back to have it done again. He took 5 samples from me, 2 of which he called “slam dunks!” and showed me, we watched the needle shoot out into the center of the mass. Fun stuff. 🙂 I told him he could keep going and take it out sliver by sliver if he wanted to lol lol . He told me I go on record as being THE calmest person he has ever seen have a breast biopsy. A badge of honour of sorts 🙂

Then it was a hurry up and wait. I had an appointment to see my family Dr on Dec 21st, as she knew I was having the mammo, and a pelvic US done (unrelated to the CA) and wanted to discuss my results. Did I mention that my family Dr is Fabulous? Her name is Dr Louise Low and she works out of Surrey BC. She is just awesome and always answers my questions, listens to my suggestions or concerns.

I saw her on Dec 21st and got the news. She had my path report and it shows “invasive adenocarcinoma”. I was expecting it. It was not big enough that I could feel it (it’s a bit bigger than a pea) but because of having alot of cysts in my breasts, it makes it hard to feel new lumps. Anyways she told me that she had gotten a recommendation from radiologist and would send me to Dr Janzen, a surgeon in Surrey BC , who specializes in Breast issues. I got in to see her Dec 23rd, so that tells you something when you can get in to see a surgeon in 2 days. Can’t be a good thing in that you know it’s serious, but it was a good thing, in that things are moving fast. I like that. I like that a lot.

I met with the surgeon on Dec 23rd. We discussed the options that are open to me. So my choices were basically a lumpectomy/sentinel lymph node biopsy/radiation or a mastectomy (which they can reconstruct the breast at the same time, but it might take longer to get in, as they would need to coordinate with plastic surgeon..) After doing the breast exam on me, she confirmed that there was no way that I would have been able to feel it on a manual exam. That made me feel better. The surgeon gave me a packet of information that breast cancer patients get. Included in it is a book that is about 1.5 inches thick, and it’s about breast cancer and gives a lot of info to allow you to make the best decision for you. I have read the book. Being a nurse I knew a fair bit of it, but it was still well written and informative. I did learn some things 🙂 <– always a good thing.

My decision was to do the lumpectomy/sentinel node biopsy/radiation. The earliest I can get that is early January sometime. I don’t have a date yet for it.

Surgery: well I know I will be able to come home the same day, that I’ll have a drain in my armpit to drain fluids and that I’ll have a home care nurse coming to see me at home. I will have radiation but I don’t know when that will start or for how long I have to have it. I do know it’s daily once it starts.

Work has been great, very supportive. I am a nurse and have been x 30 years. I am lucky to have such a supportive place to work in, and my co workers and friends have been really great. 🙂

It’s not the Christmas gift I would have wanted. In the grand scheme of things though, I feel like it is a gift that it’s been caught early so that gives me hope. It’s still small (as of last week), and yes it is infiltrating, but hopefully it has not spread to lymph yet. fingers crossed.

If you are reading this post and you’ve never met me, or don’t know me, then I welcome you to our blog and hope that by my posting what is happening to me as it happens, will help others to know what to expect, or how things happen, in what order etc. Please feel free to add comments if you want or if you have questions, I might be able to answer.

As for emotions I’m feeling. I am doing ok. I can’t worry about what if, etc, as I don’t have the facts. I will know more when the cancer is removed and tested and staged. Until then I don’t know really to what extent this cancer has spread, and I’m not going to waste any precious energy worrying about what I have no control over. Those of you who do know me, know this is how I have lived my life, and so I’ll continue to do that now. 🙂 I will do that, and I will fight! And as my sister Cathy says ” we will get through this.”. And so we will. 🙂

Right now Dec 26th: I’m optimistic and hopeful and feeling very supported by my husband, family and friends and the medical community.

Holidays, Something About Us

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

December 24, 2010 Maurice 3 Comments

Pam and Max and I wish you all a VERY Merry Christmas! It’s been a tough year for us, but it’s been a good year too. When someone mentions that they’ve had a tough time, people will respond, “at least you have your health.” And that has been the reason for such a bad year. We’ve seen the insides of so many doctor’s waiting rooms, we could probably become designers for waiting rooms!

Pam is holding up well, and we’re going to focus on positive things, not negative things. The cancer was caught early, it’s small, and the doctors are optimistic and the prognosis is very good.

So friends – have a great Christmas! Rejoice in the things that went well. Enjoy being with family and friends. Tell someone you love them. Take the time to smile at strangers.

Here is a movie of our light show this year. We got home late from our vacation this year, and I really didn’t get a great show going. It’s a little subdued from previous years, but next year I promise to knock it out of the park! If you turn up your sound, you should hear the music that the lights flash on and off to…

Oh – we found a little Christmas bag on our doorstep this morning. In it was some home made short bread cookies, and a note thanking us for “sharing our Holiday Cheer with your Festive display of Lights!” Isn’t that swell!? Made my day! What a sweet thing to do! Thanks!

Aruba, Vacations

Arachi

December 5, 2010 Maurice 5 Comments

When we returned to Aruba from our week in Curacao, we were driving to the California Lighthouse to check out the view. It’s a scenic drive, through virtual desert conditions with huge cactus and big sand dunes. They don’t even allow motorized vehicles on the dunes because they say it is part of their heritage.

As we slowly rounded a corner, we saw an obviously very hungry, very thin female dog. She looked like she hadn’t had a good meal in about a year! Aruba has lots of wild and uncared for dogs. It’s a different culture there, and dogs, for the most part, are just another animal. Many just roam the streets, and people don’t seem to care for them quite like we do in North America.

It was quite emotional for both of us, and we decided we’d try to do something. We got to the Lighthouse, and bought a ham and cheese sandwich, a hotdog, and a sausage. We tried to find her again, but we could not. Pam was in tears. We left the food by the road near where we’d seen her last, and hoped she’d find it.

That night in the grocery store, Pam bought some tins of dog food, some “crunchies” and some treats. The next morning we went back and found her! She was nervous and wary and wouldn’t let us approach. We put the tinned food into a dish, set it down, and moved away. She approached, keeping an eye on us, and proceeded to wolf it down! We gave her some crunchies, and she loved those too.

We left some food for her in a pile, and as we drove away, we saw her eating the new pile as well. The next day we were late getting there, and thought we wouldn’t find her. We parked the car just north of Arashi beach, got out and called for her, and whistled and she came out of somewhere and came to us. Her tail wagged a little, not much, but a little. We fed her just like the day before, and she devoured everything.

The next day, we arrived at the same time, and she was perched near where we had fed her the two days before! It reminded us of a movie about a dog named Hachi, who waited for his master to return every day at five o’clock. Since her home seemed to be around Arashi Beach, we started calling her Arachi, a combo of Arashi and Hachi. It just seemed fitting!

We fed her most days over the next two weeks, missing her one day I think. She came to trust us and wagged her tail all the time, and even let us pet her and scratch her ear! She was really a sweet dog. One of her favorite things was cheese flavored Pringle potato chips! It was funny to see her devour those things.

A couple of days before we left, we brought her lunch. We couldn’t find her, at first. Then we spotted her under a tree with a couple of young ladies. One claimed to be her owner! Pam talked to them, and discovered she was just a dog who lived there, for whatever reason. One of the women wanted to “adopt” her but was having trouble convincing her boyfriend. We saw her the next few days, and she said that she was going to take her home that Friday! We were delighted, needless to say!

When we first saw her, she was a total bone rack. But our feeding her everyday had noticeably improved her look. The young lady even remarked how good she looked. She figured some kind tourist had been feeding her, since the locals really wouldn’t be doing it.

Anyway – we hope it has a happy ending. We wish Arachi a long life!

Aruba, Vacations

Last day in Aruba for 2010

December 3, 2010 Maurice Leave a comment

Today was our last full day in Aruba, so we decided to hit our favorite beach. Boca Catalina was busy, our regular parking spot was taken! The day was beautiful, sunny and warm. We quickly jumped in the ocean, and were greeted by an amazing visibility. The ocean was clear and we could see for miles, it seemed!

We swam up to Malmok, and while I was taking pictures of a chain moray eel Pam called me urgently! She had spotted a turtle, half hiding under a rock. It’s still very exhilarating to see these guys in the ocean. I took a few shots, and we decided not to disturb her, when suddenly she just got up on her own and started going for a leisurely swim. We followed her and we were so close, we could reach out and touch her!

We swam with her for a long time, just enjoying the company. This area is usually filled with snorkeling ships, but there were none today. Later in the day we discovered there were no cruise ships in the harbor, so we figured there were not enough customers to fill the boats.

We saw another school of the torpedo shaped fish, we’ve called gauganche. They are really fast, and move very determinedly around the area. They look very suited to hunting, sleek and powerful.

Another turtle took our attention for a time. By this time a Pelican ship full of snorkelers had come on the scene. We called out to them that we’d sighted a turtle, and they all came swimming over. It’s always a big treat to see turtles, and you could see the grins and smiles on people’s faces right through their mouthpieces. We left them to enjoy her, and it was funny to look back and see thirty snorkelers all trailing off in the direction the turtle was headed!

We lazily swam around Malmok beach checking out some great fish. The visibility was clear as a bell, and we could see the tiniest little guys hanging around. We agreed it was time to head back, when we spotted another turtle! We followed her for a time, but by now we’d been in the water for nearly three hours, so broke it off and headed back to Boca beach.

We swam over the minor reef near Boca, and spotted a cornetfish. This was the first one we’d seen this trip! They are long fish, around five feet, but you can wrap your hands around their width. They are much like a trumpetfish, but have a long whip-like tail, so they are easy to distinguish. I’m posting two pictures of the same cornetfish.

Note the difference in the color. In the first picture you can see dark colored bands alternating with light blue bands. In the other, taken mere seconds later, (note the rocks beneath the fish – you can see both pictures were taken by the same rocks) you can clearly see blue streaks running down his length, with no dark banding.

Aruba, Vacations

Swimming the wreck

December 3, 2010 Maurice Leave a comment

I’ve been wanting to swim out to the wreck, that is clearly visible from the main beach road, since we arrived. Last year it was a great snorkel, with tons of fish. The waves looked bigger than previous years, so I’ve bided my time until the day was calm. Well, today was the day.

The wreck has collapsed somewhat over the course of just one year. Large sections at the back of the ship have broken off and fallen away from the wreck. Some of the pieces have quite sharp and dangerous chunks sticking out of them. So you need to be careful you don’t get too close and risk being impaled when a big wave crashes through.

It was very neat to see all the fish making the wreck their home. Huge schools of blue grunts, snapper and other fish just drift along with the waves, hiding among the decaying ribs of the ship. There are large schoolmasters trying to remain hidden among the big schools, but their size really makes them stick out!

The wreck is mostly filled with the usual fish we see, and there were a couple barracuda hanging around. It’s tough to get into the wreck, the entry point is very rocky, and you have to walk out quite a ways before it’s deep enough to get into the water to swim. So all in all, I’d say there are better spots to snorkel. If you are here for just one week, definitely check out the other spots first. Save the wreck for when you’ve got lots of time.

We got back in the ocean at Boca Catalina, and swam up to Malmok reef. The big surprise today was two of the largest porcupinefish we’ve seen anywhere! While we were in St Maarten, we saw some large ones out at Turtle Reef, but these two were bigger! Pam said, “look at these porcupinefish!” I couldn’t believe they were porcupinefish, I was just shocked at how big they were.

We saw another big school of sleek hunting fish. These were different than the school the day before. We’re pretty sure these were called cero. They are fast moving fish too, and seem to be stalking the smaller guys.

I finally got a decent picture of a clown wrasse. They are colorful fish, and dart and weave all over the reef, seldom coming to a stop. We also saw a new fish, which we haven’t identified. It seems to be some kind of a blenny, but it has very pronounced scales on it. He was quite shy, and hid under a rock as soon as I pointed the camera at him. I tried for a second shot, but he quickly moved under another rock, making it impossible.

It was a fun day of snorkeling. The water was clear and visibility was very good. We’d love to say that we got back to the hotel and took a nice long rest in the hot tub, but if you can believe it, the Renaissance hotel – a Marriott hotel! – does not have a hot tub! Can you imagine? This is the first place in the Caribbean we’ve stayed that didn’t have a hot tub! We’re in shock!

We went to dinner at a place called the Casa Tua Mediterranee. “Casa Tua” means “your house” and they have four or five different ones on the island. Barcelona, Mediterranee, and a couple pizzerias… We had lunch at a Casa Tua pizza place and really enjoyed their food (and the big beers!). This Casa was in the new Palm Beach mall and their food is Moroccan and Greek inspired. We both ordered meals in the “tajine” a Morocca cooking vessel that looks similar to a stove.

Pam had the lemon chicken and I had the Casa Tua Couscous. Trust me when I say, they were FABULOUS. They bring you these absolutely beautiful dishes to eat from. You layer your couscous in the bottom, them add food from the tajine – mine had chicken, beef, carrots, potatos, pumpkin, chickpeas, and other vegetables, then you pour a broth that the whole thing is simmered in over the lot. Absolutely wonderful!

——

PS: I posted this from our airplane at 33,500 feet! Yep free wifi from Google Chrome and Delta Airlines as a holiday present! We’ve not posted the last few days in Aruba since we were simply too busy to do it! I have another post ready to go, but won’t post it til later. It’s a little cramped on the plane! lol