Today is going to be my 14th treatment of radiation out of 25  so over half way done. 🙂 woo hoo! I can’t wait for my life to get back to normal. We have a routine now, where M drops me off at the cancer clinic and I go do my thing, and while I am off getting zapped, M takes Max for a walk at a nearby park or he goes and sits where the parking is free and reads and waits for me. Parking at the hospital is expensive so its our way of not having to pay close to a fiver ever day! 🙂

Last treatment on friday I saw the Dr and she told me they were taking me to another room to get marked up so they could measure and mark where they were going to do the more focused beam around the location where the tumor had been. So I ended up with a diamond shaped thing inked onto my right breast, and they said they will be drawing that mark on each time they do the focused beam. I forgot to ask the Dr how many of those more focused ones they do, but I suspect it will be the last week of the treatments. I still have 12 to go, including today’s.

My skin is holding up pretty well. I do notice it feels somewhat heavier in the area between the two incisions, almost like a “cooked” feeling, where flesh is firmer. The nipple on that side continues to darken, the skin gets redder especially right after the zapping but then seems to resolve back to it’s normal color, however I am left with the skin looking different shade than the right (a bit). So far no skin breakdown but I have been pretty diligent about using the olay moisturizing body wash and then the lubriderm moisturizer every day. Dr thought things looked good.

Fatigue continues to be an issue, and I find myself pushing myself to do things so that I don’t turn into a lump. My first inclination would be to not do anything, but I can’t sink into that. Yesterday Maurice was out pulling weeds out of the garden and I took a small rake and was able to pull a few out too using it. Nothing to strenuous but it felt good to be helping 🙂

I’m over half way done and my right arm numbness is persistant. The dreadful pain from the nerve irritation is gone now. What I feel is that my arm feels heavy, but it’s more because there is a big numb area in the back that feels like a blob I’m lugging around, as I can’t feel it except when it hits my body. It is a weird feeling but I’m getting used to it. Hopefully it will resolve itself, but I suspect I’m going to be stuck with this numbness for the rest of my life (my prediction) , the surgeon said that whatever I have at the end of one year, is what I will have the rest of my life… so we shall see, there might be room for improvement.

One thing I have been doing is eating junk food. I think I have been feeling sorry for myself and using that as an excuse to eat like crap. That has to stop. I know that the meds I am on raise cholesterol, and I don’t want that, and I won’t be helping myself at all if I continue to help raise my cholesterol on top of the meds, because I’m stupidly eating high fat crap.

_____________________________________ _______________ ________________ <– the line in the sand has been drawn.

Many thanks to everyone who has been emailing me, calling or coming over for visits. I’ve appreciated all. Also thank you to all the gals at work who sent the condolence cards and gifts for me on the loss of my dad. I was very touched. Thanks Sharman and Nikki for bringing the cards and gifts and the nice visit.  You are all a great bunch of people to work with and the care and attention you’ve given to me while I’ve been off is a testament to that. Special thanks to Maggie, for her trips in to visit, and take me to radiation some times, for being a swell friend, and to Gen who unerringly calls to see how I am doing, to my sister Cathy and brother Peter who always check on me, to M’s parents who call and who’ve sent gifts, and especially to Maurice, who has always been there for me in every way. 🙂   I am a lucky gal.

…Pam…